dtangled

Let me preface this post, which is actually a review of the new Nintendo DS game Style Savvy, by saying I am a huge Nintendo fan. I have always leaned toward the geeky good time of anything video-game related; one of my nicknames is even inspired by the arcade classic Galaga. I am a Wii bowling and tennis pro and I take my Nintendo DS, the brilliant birthday gift of a friend, on all long plane rides with me. What games do I consider fun? Any Mario game, Brain Age, and The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass, perhaps the greatest DS game of all time. What do I consider un-fun? Style Savvy. Note: Turn the music off before your head explodes.

The anorexic fur-trimmed hotpants, clown shoes, and beer cooler I'm wearing for my big date tonight!

I am not one of those let’s-empower-girls-with-video-games! kind of people. I don’t really care what kind of game I’m playing as long as it’s entertaining. But if you are going to create one primarily for girls, at least make it smart and worthy of their spongebrains. Style Savvy is a game in which you open a store and create outfits for your customers, eventually becoming head buyer. The fundamentals are there, like customer service, styling, and inventory management. (“Space is tight and you don’t want to get caught with something out of stock!” How embarrassing. I know the feeling.) But the execution is sooo disappointing. The graphics are bizarre and feature imaginary brands (Karamomo NO) and anime babes whose makeup and hair you can do. Glamorous fashion shows? I want no part in educating future generations to dress like the people of Walmart. You even get your own sugar daddy, Dominic, a “high-class businessman,” to help fund your enterprise. Classy! Don’t waste your time. Why not go over to www.polyvore.com and at least create your own looks using real clothing, rated by real people?

Nintendo, I still love you. Call me.